I like you already understood. Really. Now shut up!
So last semester was stupid but now it is in the past.
Then came Matt. His visit was (to describe everything as melodramatic as possible) like a light that guided me through the darkness of the semester. In the end it was something nice. In the end I could access for 3 days back this lost time in Tübingen. Juhu. And the visit was really great. I jumped at it and everything went perfectly and it was just good to see a good friend.
On Friday, he returned to Germany. And then began the university work again. And then returned to the unzauberhafte life. Since I write my essay terrible. Now, the essay actually done ... bad, but ready. On weekends I go to Durham, because I must leave this city for a few days umbedingt. If I would stay here longer, I would quickly crazy.
Recently, I felt weak. With no language or ideas I'm clear. I think and I write and I speak but the feeling is still lacking. When I'm with people, I hear the words, but I just want to hear the beautiful sound of blended voices. The meaning I understand when I feel like it, but somehow I could not at this time does not matter.
My language skills are still weak. While speaking, I lack not the words, writing is (as you can read here) even worse, but at least I can listen to people and songs are still good. Although some people I have not felt this evening. And they did everything they just said. And they asked me if they talked too fast. Even twice in a sequence. But sorry! When I say that I understand, you should believe me. When I say that you can not speak too fast, you should ask me the same question more slowly. Everyone loses at some point in the world of waking dreams, but my God ... I think I niiieee for such a trip was treated so condescendingly.
I miss my friends in Tübingen, to never talk to me so. They had believed in me and to me (I think) still believe.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Pro Bmx Ramps For Sale
So that's because ...
Today was quite okay. I had a translation exercise, which was interesting, and the song Niebelungenallee seminar was ... interesting. This silent, I always ... Today I have prepared all the lyrics but somehow I could not force me to answer a single question. But so is this
The second essay, I shall draw this week, today I have written almost done. Tomorrow I have to embellish anything and get ready. With a bit of courage I'll give both on Thursday and then celebrate.
Tonight I have a small Walk made me a bit to rest. And it actually worked out quite well but somehow I again desire to Tübingen. On one hand I want to continue studying in Tübingen, but on the other hand, I must ask myself if I could leave again after the extended study of the beautiful backwater my exchange studies. I mean, maybe it would be better if I just visit my friends because I do not know if I could actually spend my whole life in Tübingen. Sometimes I think I could set up there or at least in BaWü a happy life, but I will forever remain in Germany? Maybe I have all of my time in Tübingen shall remain, as I remember them, and just stay here with irregular visits, etc.
I just hate that. My soul is separate, because I love Tübingen, not only because of my friends but also because of the streets and alleys and the people and the Neckar and the bikes. But somehow I have such a lock in the head, which does not allow me to believe in a happy life in Germany. I believe that this barrier exists probably because of my father, but what should I change my relationship with him. I've tried before, now I must live.
When I write or speak German, although I express are still too many mistakes down and write, I sometimes feel like I control the words and language and how I can finally put right. However, I feel guilty because my father, who almost single-German native language of my childhood, I not taught, and therefore is this language as a kind of feels like rebellion. I never liked. And if I resettlement to Germany, I would be happy, but at the same time feel guilty. Phew.
Now I must go to bed ... Tomorrow I have to get up early to write my essays done.
Today was quite okay. I had a translation exercise, which was interesting, and the song Niebelungenallee seminar was ... interesting. This silent, I always ... Today I have prepared all the lyrics but somehow I could not force me to answer a single question. But so is this
The second essay, I shall draw this week, today I have written almost done. Tomorrow I have to embellish anything and get ready. With a bit of courage I'll give both on Thursday and then celebrate.
Tonight I have a small Walk made me a bit to rest. And it actually worked out quite well but somehow I again desire to Tübingen. On one hand I want to continue studying in Tübingen, but on the other hand, I must ask myself if I could leave again after the extended study of the beautiful backwater my exchange studies. I mean, maybe it would be better if I just visit my friends because I do not know if I could actually spend my whole life in Tübingen. Sometimes I think I could set up there or at least in BaWü a happy life, but I will forever remain in Germany? Maybe I have all of my time in Tübingen shall remain, as I remember them, and just stay here with irregular visits, etc.
I just hate that. My soul is separate, because I love Tübingen, not only because of my friends but also because of the streets and alleys and the people and the Neckar and the bikes. But somehow I have such a lock in the head, which does not allow me to believe in a happy life in Germany. I believe that this barrier exists probably because of my father, but what should I change my relationship with him. I've tried before, now I must live.
When I write or speak German, although I express are still too many mistakes down and write, I sometimes feel like I control the words and language and how I can finally put right. However, I feel guilty because my father, who almost single-German native language of my childhood, I not taught, and therefore is this language as a kind of feels like rebellion. I never liked. And if I resettlement to Germany, I would be happy, but at the same time feel guilty. Phew.
Now I must go to bed ... Tomorrow I have to get up early to write my essays done.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Maritime Square D Off Street
schorschd @ 2008-01-26T15: 28:00
Today I have written about 800 words and read an essay and corrected. Juhu! But the two essays that I next Weeks must submit, are still not finished and now I have no desire to write more. I will not say that today I could not somehow think, but today I want to also relax a bit. The university is stupid and stressful and even if I am already looking forward to the end, I must say that I have front end of my university career scared because I dannach have no idea, what I would do. The future is behind a cloud of uncertainty, but this year everything is so uncertain and bad I'm just scared. My last year in school, I had the same fear, but this time the fear bigger, because real life is not so far forward. On the one hand, I tell myself (of course with a kind of Swabian accent), "Oh, be Schorsch, net stupid. Des Lebe severally imma unsecured but you hasch all previous überstanda.'s why is because as of today different?" But on the other hand I think (in my best High German), "George. Now must you do something. Enter Life is as of June not so pretty and you have to in real life. Unfortunately you can not get off until you are dead or are you are very old. But that is not so bad, right? A direction to discover with which you can run forever. Perhaps it is somehow easier when you have to live like this. But perhaps it is more complicated, stupid, and schweirig. You have to wait to get to know your destiny. "
But I will not. The Swabian I do I find a friendly and relaxed. I can actually nothing, and unfortunately I am not from a noble family, which already has money and a bit of security if I have any skills. What I can (I know that I always ask the same questions, but at this point in my life, it's just that I always ask the same questions must be)? Hm .. I can speak English but my vocabulary is tiny and my pronunciation and my writing for American and British (or Scottish) English, are quite confused. I can be a bit English. I used to have that done it very well but after I've lived in Germany, I can not really more. I can be a little German. But I still make the same mistakes and to be honest, I'm not a real Germanic. And I can (strangely) is still a bit of Portuguese. Otherwise I have very few skills. With languages, you can talk to people, but if my translator is a bad, what then bring the languages? No idea.
I have just a single goal, well, that I do not want to move to California. Phew. But at least I have such a small target.
Today I have written about 800 words and read an essay and corrected. Juhu! But the two essays that I next Weeks must submit, are still not finished and now I have no desire to write more. I will not say that today I could not somehow think, but today I want to also relax a bit. The university is stupid and stressful and even if I am already looking forward to the end, I must say that I have front end of my university career scared because I dannach have no idea, what I would do. The future is behind a cloud of uncertainty, but this year everything is so uncertain and bad I'm just scared. My last year in school, I had the same fear, but this time the fear bigger, because real life is not so far forward. On the one hand, I tell myself (of course with a kind of Swabian accent), "Oh, be Schorsch, net stupid. Des Lebe severally imma unsecured but you hasch all previous überstanda.'s why is because as of today different?" But on the other hand I think (in my best High German), "George. Now must you do something. Enter Life is as of June not so pretty and you have to in real life. Unfortunately you can not get off until you are dead or are you are very old. But that is not so bad, right? A direction to discover with which you can run forever. Perhaps it is somehow easier when you have to live like this. But perhaps it is more complicated, stupid, and schweirig. You have to wait to get to know your destiny. "
But I will not. The Swabian I do I find a friendly and relaxed. I can actually nothing, and unfortunately I am not from a noble family, which already has money and a bit of security if I have any skills. What I can (I know that I always ask the same questions, but at this point in my life, it's just that I always ask the same questions must be)? Hm .. I can speak English but my vocabulary is tiny and my pronunciation and my writing for American and British (or Scottish) English, are quite confused. I can be a bit English. I used to have that done it very well but after I've lived in Germany, I can not really more. I can be a little German. But I still make the same mistakes and to be honest, I'm not a real Germanic. And I can (strangely) is still a bit of Portuguese. Otherwise I have very few skills. With languages, you can talk to people, but if my translator is a bad, what then bring the languages? No idea.
I have just a single goal, well, that I do not want to move to California. Phew. But at least I have such a small target.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Pps De Kate's Playground
schorschd @ 2008-01-14T00: 08:00
I will tübingen again. or at least believe that I could be that I can stay here after uni.
stupid visa.
I will tübingen again. or at least believe that I could be that I can stay here after uni.
stupid visa.
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