So that's because ...
Today was quite okay. I had a translation exercise, which was interesting, and the song Niebelungenallee seminar was ... interesting. This silent, I always ... Today I have prepared all the lyrics but somehow I could not force me to answer a single question. But so is this
The second essay, I shall draw this week, today I have written almost done. Tomorrow I have to embellish anything and get ready. With a bit of courage I'll give both on Thursday and then celebrate.
Tonight I have a small Walk made me a bit to rest. And it actually worked out quite well but somehow I again desire to Tübingen. On one hand I want to continue studying in Tübingen, but on the other hand, I must ask myself if I could leave again after the extended study of the beautiful backwater my exchange studies. I mean, maybe it would be better if I just visit my friends because I do not know if I could actually spend my whole life in Tübingen. Sometimes I think I could set up there or at least in BaWü a happy life, but I will forever remain in Germany? Maybe I have all of my time in Tübingen shall remain, as I remember them, and just stay here with irregular visits, etc.
I just hate that. My soul is separate, because I love Tübingen, not only because of my friends but also because of the streets and alleys and the people and the Neckar and the bikes. But somehow I have such a lock in the head, which does not allow me to believe in a happy life in Germany. I believe that this barrier exists probably because of my father, but what should I change my relationship with him. I've tried before, now I must live.
When I write or speak German, although I express are still too many mistakes down and write, I sometimes feel like I control the words and language and how I can finally put right. However, I feel guilty because my father, who almost single-German native language of my childhood, I not taught, and therefore is this language as a kind of feels like rebellion. I never liked. And if I resettlement to Germany, I would be happy, but at the same time feel guilty. Phew.
Now I must go to bed ... Tomorrow I have to get up early to write my essays done.
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